Roselle Park Post

BOE Hires 3 New Teachers For Free!!

May 1, 2011

In a stroke of genius, the RPBOE has saved the Roselle Park taxpayers money yet again!! They hired 3 teachers for the district for free! That’s right! Zero cost! That’s more than 110 E. Westfield Ave. does!

The new teachers are fully qualified & come with the highest of credentials! Barbara Sokol, Chris Miller and Jason Tribiano – all teachers – were elected to the school board!

Superintendent Spag commented, “We plan to put them in right away to help out with teaching classes. They’ll start out with substitutes and help with filling in for our wonderful staff when they  call out sick.”

Not everybody was happy with the announcement. Stewart Purnthwistle, president of the RP Student’s Union fired back, “Unbelievable! When the Student’s Union is still negotiating on substitute students when my members call out, they go and pull this stunt. Just typical!”

Master Purnthwistle provided info on the talks between the Student Union and the Board about having other students come in and substitute for another student when they call out sick. The sticking point, according to Master Purnthwistle, has to do with the age of the substitutes, “I don’t see why a 1st grader can’t substitute for a [high school] senior. I mean, what do kids do in class anyway when a substitute comes in? Nothing, right? Well, a first grader can do nothing as well as a senior.”

“The Board cannot comment at this time,” Spag answered, “But rest assure that we are keeping the best interest of everyone in mind. Did you hear we have 3 new teachers that have no cost impact to the taxpayer?”

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