Earth Gets Shitty Reviews On Yelp! So Fuck You Universe!
April 1, 2015
– No stars! In fact, I wish I could hurl them into their own star!
– Fucked up beyond belief! This place is literally a waste of space!
– Try to not get your hopes up. They don’t.
– So bad we actually fly around the Milky Way to avoid it.
– A black hole is better than Earth.
– This place was so bad I went back to my home planet and uninvented space travel. Just dismantled it all.
– Good luck finding a landing spot. They have all shit flying everywhere!
– This place is dirtier than Uranus.
Instead of fixing its problems, Earth will be typing up shitty reviews of planets that were never visited. Watch out Mars!