Earth Gets Shitty Reviews On Yelp! So Fuck You Universe!

Aliens who’ve visited Earth have come down hard on the planet on Yelp!

– No stars! In fact, I wish I could hurl them into their own star!

– Fucked up beyond belief! This place is literally a waste of space!

– Try to not get your hopes up. They don’t.

– So bad we actually fly around the Milky Way to avoid it.

– A black hole is better than Earth.

– This place was so bad I went back to my home planet and uninvented space travel. Just dismantled it all.

– Good luck finding a landing spot. They have all shit flying everywhere!

– This place is dirtier than Uranus.

Instead of fixing its problems, Earth will be typing up shitty reviews of planets that were never visited. Watch out Mars!