Roselle Park Post

Gov To Have Voters Decide On Whether Left-Handed People Can Get Married

February 15, 2012

Governor Chris Christie stated he will veto any bill that comes before him allowing left-handed people to get married.

“I’ll leave it up to the good people of New Jersey to make that decision,” stated the Governor, “Not to mention it’ll give me an out if I ever decide to run for President.”

A member of the NJ Assembly went on further to explain that a large percentage of the state, as well as the world, is right-handed and the Bible clearly speaks against left-handedness so those Biblical values should be upheld in today’s world. He added, “You know, Jesus sat at the right hand of the Father for a reason.”

The Left-Handed Society of New Jersey has announced a formal protest on the Governor’s decision. A spokeswoman extolled, “This is an outrage. First society terms people who are left-handed as sinister, now the governor won’t support equality for marriage? That’s pretty dumb! What’s next? No equality for same-sex marriage?”

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