Governor Christie Proposes To Split Jersey Into 2 Separate States

In an attempt to help the state’s economy, Governor Chris Christie will propose that New Jersey split into 2 states with the Southern section keeping the name ‘New Jersey’ and the northern half to be called ‘Newer Jersey’ – abbreviated as NJ+. He also plans to move the new State capital to Mendham, NJ+.

“It makes complete sense,” The governor stated when asked about the proposal, “Those folks are bringing down the entire state with their allowing of Staten Islanders to give us a bad name like they did to New York City. Plus those folks down south don’t have enough sense to go home when there’s a hurricane coming. Oh, and they can’t speak worth a spit. Who pronounces B-U-E-N-A as ‘Bee-you-nah’?

The comments refer to the popular MTV show “Jersey Shore” and when beach goers decided to stay when Hurricane Irene was headed for the Jersey shores as well as the town of Buena Vista, NJ.

“Maybe we could work out a deal and have Delaware annex it so we could keep the New Jersey name,” the governor pondered aloud, “I’d offer that dirt pile to Pennsylvania but I wouldn’t wish that on them.”

When asked how he expects the State legislature to handle the proposal, Governor Christie responded, “What are they gonna do? They haven’t done anything to stop me from doing what I want so far.”