Roselle Park Post

RP Cracks Down On Illegal Trick-Or-Treating

November 1, 2011

Halloween revelers who took to the streets last night got a trick-or-treat they weren’t expecting. They got arrested.

After Mayor Joe II canceled Halloween, some freedom-lovin’ confectionery costumers defied totalitarianism and went door-to-door asking for their annual grab bag of goodies. Instead, they got iron bracelets and a trip to the scary monster house called jail.

“It’s for their safety,” Mayor Joe II quipped when asked about it. Borrowing a line from The Breakfast Club the Mayor ranted , “If they trick-or-treat, everyone’ll trick-or-treat. It’ll be anarchy!”

Councilman-At-Large Hokanson kept to his word and had the police, who were dressed up as border Patrol Agents, release dogs to disperse the handful of Halloween hooligans. He said he felt bad about the dogs but people just needed to know the borough meant business.

Not to be outdone, opponent Glen Costello stood in front of former 1st ward councilman Larry Dinardo’s house and rang the doorbell non-stop yelling, “Trick or treat Larry! Come out Larry! Are you there Larry?”

“We just wanted to have fun,” 2 little precious angels pictured whimpered through their tears as they sat handcuffed on the curb, as they watch the police and K-9 dogs round their friends up. They kept shaking their heads in disbelief as dogs took down their parents and friends.

No word if the costumed criminals had their mugshots taken with their Halloween attire on.

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