Roselle Park Post

RP Declares War On Cuba!

August 5, 2013

Tanya 'The Bull' Torres

In a case of loose lips sinking ships, councilwoman Tanya “The Bull” Torres spilled the beans on Roselle Park’s plans to execute Cuban leader Fidel Castro and declare war on the nation of Cuba. During one of her reports, Torres said about the students of 2013, “These kids have seen Fidel Castro executed.”

She was promptly taken off microphone with her conspirators clamoring to get her to keep quiet but she repeated, “Yeah, but we’re taking out Castro too.”

She shrugged her shoulders and muttered, “Oh well. It doesn’t matter. I’m not running for re-election anyway.”

An investigation by Roselle Park Post revealed that Tanya “The Bull” had a copy of the movie “638 Ways To Kill Castro”. Perhaps it was a training video? And a photo has surfaced when Castro flew over here to vote for his socialist puppet Barack Obama that Torres was spotted in her first assassination attempt.


When reached for comment, the pinko red leader of Cuba, Comrade Castro replied, “I’m keeping an eye on this Tanya Toro but do not worry about Roselle Park and their attempt to take over my motherland. I worry for Cuba because they might bring their empty 1970s style storefronts which would push Cuba back from its progress.”

fidel castro 2

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