Roselle Park Post

US To FIFA: Go To Jail, Do Not Collect $200M, Do Not Pass GOL!!!

June 1, 2015

The richest sports association is for a sport that requires the least amount of money to play. Basically a ball and dirt.

And while the soccer monopoly was getting richer, the US was getting their red card ready to call foul. And just as FIFA was about to vote in the same Mr. Moneybags for the 1000th time, po-po came in and ejected members of FIFA into a paddy wagon to be carted away to the US to face corruption charges.

While this did nothing to affect the election, FIFA has claimed that any wrongdoing was due to the acts of the 14 individuals locked up, and intend on using the “Time For A Traffic Study” defense.

Walking away clean from all the mess, newly re-elected FIFA president Blatter made his only comment by putting his hands together and making a farting noise with them to show his disdain for America. He added, “This is what happens when your country is too shitty to make it to the finals.”


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