Roselle Park Post

Vatican Gives Manpower Highest Ratings For Temporary Pope

March 13, 2013


Taking his name from the patron saint of job seekers, the person known only as Pope Cajetan was let go by the Vatican after filling the position as the leader of the Catholic Church for almost two weeks. In a very little known move, the Church needed to assign a Pontiff after the surprise resignation of Pope Benedict XVI which came in the form of a two-week notice in order to maintain communications with their boss, God.

The temporary staffing agency Manpower was contacted by a Vatican official to hire a temp Pope so the lines of communication between the Holy See and the Creator of All Things could remain open until such a time as the new Servant of the Servants Of God – Pope Francis I – could be appointed. A Manpower representative, who refused to divulge the private information of the temporary employee such as religion, stated that the Vatican gave a 100% rating to their services. “We’ll be there if they need us again,” he commented to Roselle Park Post.

In an exclusive interview, Pope Cajetan expressed his excitement and joy over being the head of the Holy See with no regrets. “I knew it was a temp gig going in but this was a great opportunity I couldn’t pass up,” said the temp Bishop of Rome, “If anything, it’ll look great on my resume to list God as a reference.”

Reminiscing over his short time as Primate of Italy, Pope Cajetan gave some insight to his personal dealings with the Ancient of Days, “God is amazing. He is not what people think of him at all! Folks really have about a millionth of a percent of an understanding of God!”

Like most temp workers, the ex-Holy Father is on to his next assignment – which he stated was going to be a warehouse inventory comptroller for a Wal-Mart – but is always looking for that permanent position, “God willing, I will land that perfect J-O-B but no matter what happens I know I always have G-O-D.”

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