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Roselle Park Post

Welcome To The Jungle Gym!

April 1, 2014

axl

Aging rock star has-been Axl Rose was sighted filming a new commercial for Pump It Up in RP. Axl lip-synced a reworking of his most famous song from his 80s band Guns N Roses and called it “Welcome To The Jungle Gym”.

The once envied rabble-rouser was visibly upset having children mistake him for a real-life Ronald McDonald during the shoot and their grandparents mistook him for Lemmy from Motorhead.

During a break Axl explained that the lyrics didn’t need to be changed. He said, “Listen, I say ‘Welcome To The Jungle Gym, we got fun & games. We got everything you want, honey we know the name.’ It’s the same. Yeah I had to change some words up a bit but not too much. Like the ending I just sang ‘You know where you are?! You in the jungle gym baby! You’re gonna slide!'”

Roselle Park might a boom in activity from oldies but goodies. It’s rumored that a star-studded cast of 70s & 80s bands will do a “Give Pizza Chance” video for all the pizza parlors in town and a remake of a Fats Domino classic will be remade into “I found my thrill on Chestnut Hill” to promote the local grocery store.

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