Roselle Park Post

World Leaders React To Sign Gate!

November 3, 2014

World Leaders Meet For G8 Summit AT Lough Erne

The little town of Roselle Park got the world’s attention with the scandal of Sign Gate!

World leaders chimed in on the news that took the world by storm!

Pseudo-President Obama said, “This guy couldn’t have paid some kids to do this? He did it himself?! Really?! There’s no punchline here?!”

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said, “Just like Bridge Gate. They’re going to try to pin it on him. Shame on the Democrats. They’re responsible for everything bad and stupid. In fact, that sign was stupid. Mike was doing America a favor by getting rid of it. I just wish he took more!”

Vladimir Putin said, “This Yaukobv, is good thing this man left Russia. He not professional KGB. I go on horse now!”

Kim Jong-un said, “Amateurs. Signs would not disappear. People would disappear.”

British Prime Minister David Cameron said, “Having seen this causes us to re-evaluate our Scottish Independence referendum. If signs went missing, then people couldn’t vote. Very troubling.”

The Canadian Prime Minister said something but no one cared.

Syrian President Wael Nader al-Halqi said, “The Hague needs to investigate.”

Even Mayor Joke from Roselle Park said, “I am not running for mayor. I just want everyone to know that. It was my decision.”

Pope Francis said, “We need to find forgiveness in each other and move on. I will start by saying I am sorry. I am sorry for you Roselle Park.”

The Dalai Lama said, “Some think it is only a sign – a piece of plastic. Some think the action is a sign of things to come. It is up to everyone to realize both are valid and ask yourselves, “What would you do if the roles were reversed?””

Even the Frankenstein monster had a comment, “Signs bad! Stealing bad! Politics bad! But everything of a candidate’s actions, explanations or excuses along with rhetoric should be secondary to an informed voter who has more important questions to ask about the real concrete plans any representative will have to better a populace. Ovine-minded zealots damage the progress humanity has with the possibility it aspires to be. We are each responsible to ourselves and each other to improve, not disprove. As the philosopher Thomas Hobbes once wrote, “No man’s error becomes his own Law; nor obliges him to persist in it.”

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